I remember reaching for you with open arms, loving eyes, and a kind smile.
I remember being so gentle and warm with everything I said, everything I did, not only to you but to the world at large because I finally found someone who could be my someone. I wanted to share this feeling with everyone, everything.
I remember telling you these things and you telling me
How angry I could make you feel, how the little things I did bothered you so much, and how this all showed how much you loved me because that meant you cared. Because you were supposed to be my someone… And so I chose to stay.
I chose to stay.
Over and over again,
Long after the bruises that left my friends and family questioning had healed.
Long after I abandoned them because you didn’t trust me alone on “that” side of town.
Long after you’d constantly accuse me of cheating, betraying, and lying, all while calling me every name in the book that I would never be comfortable repeating…even to myself.
Every time you’d break up with me, your eyes would turn to ice and fire as you watched me beg for you to come back. When I tried to break up with you because I had enough, it was all turned around on me. My self esteem became about what you thought of me, and so I pleaded for you to come back to me, to fight for us.
You were supposed to be my someone, and I was supposed to be the woman of your life.
But I don’t think love is supposed to be this hard…
I don’t think…
I just want to forget about how you made me feel
How you made me
Wearing sunglasses in the house
Long sleeves in the middle of summer
A long way from home
I just want to forget
Please help me