I do my part.
I put in work.
I bet on myself.
When I don’t like the rules, I make up my own along the way.
I have a sense of urgency.
I am needed.
I trust that what is meant for me WILL BE.
I give the rest to God.
All of it to God.
I feel as though I am finding my way back to the right direction of myself. I don’t know, it just feels good this time around.
I just want to live a dope ass life. Mask on. Fuck it, mask off! As imperfect as I am, that’s where my greatness lies. I think that’s why people always tell me I have a nice smile. My teeth aren’t perfect, but when I smile, I smile with my whole face, with my whole body. Inside and out, I feel joy. They call me “eccentric.” I think I agree.
I remember my earliest epiphanies, involved the question, “What is life?”
And I remember having this desire to write on that scribe desk. I always wanted to write about life and its experiences.
And I remember watching the video of me when I was 3-4. She was a force.
And now, I am calm… Before the storm.
All I ever wanted was to be seen, to be heard, to be understood. To have someone show up, stand up, and stay.
I am a person who has all the life in the world, and this life flows through me so easily. Still, I’ve been looking for so long for someone to say it was okay to be me.
I’ve found that
Who I’ve been looking for
The calm and the storm,
Has always been me.
I’m no longer going to negotiate myself with anyone. That’s a betrayal I will no longer do.