Connecting the Dots
As I look back on my life, like many times before, I somehow… I feel… Different. This time, I see so much amazement and glorious potential because
I see a young Black girl confused about her sexuality, religious views, body image, popularity, the cycle of childhood trauma, being the black sheep of her maternal side, judgmentalness and defensiveness, mental illness and the stigma, self esteem and self deprecation, romantic relationships and the lack of true intimacy, abusive/toxic relationships of all kinds, striving for perfection at all times, and trying to maintain it all.
I see her so clearly now, and all I want to do is hug her. I want her to know that she deserves, above all else, her own love and affection. With kind eyes, warm arms, and an open mind, I want her to see the world, to feel the world, and to know that the world is hers. Good and bad things will happen, but to always choose good anyways. Suffering is part of life, and you can still choose kindness. Every single time.
With that being said, for every “conscious” year of my life (SN: I remember my life best through the year of school I was in, lol), I choose a word to encompass how I was feeling or what I was striving for. This is me, throughout the years:
And so now, in my new 2017-18 year of life (aka ya girl is 21 as of yesterday, April 29), I move forward with more kindness! But more importantly, more shots!