Dear Nathalia,

With every beat of my heart, I become anew. My mind never able to keep up—I grow tired, body exhausted,
And still
I can’t …stop
I’ll cure cancer, discover galaxies, map worlds far greater than our own—my soul! Poetry and prose be my platform, and
I, a God.
I, the greatest to ever exist!

AND THEN

Something stops me mid thought(s).
I wonder, WHAT’S THE POINT OF ANY OF THIS?
Everyone I love, I no longer trust. I no longer care. A child’s smile toys with me, joy becomes repulsive. =Danger Zone=
Everything grows so heavy, and I become empty.

Indifference and insecurity became my smile, and destruction and distance my laugh. Block, delete, repeat! To the ones I love, the ones I just can’t be there for anymore… I was never there for you too. Oh, how the cycle continues and

It is terrifying!
Going from one moment to the next not knowing who you will
Be
Hurt
Unintentionally love
Leave
Just to go back and do it all over again.

BUT THIS TIME, IT WILL BE DIFFERENT! I’ve got it all under control!
…until I don’t

 

Maravilla,

Every single time;

 

On 26 Feb 2015, I was given the prognosis of Type 2 Bipolar Disorder on the first day of therapy. Went for a second and third opinion, then quit while I was ahead. For now, I more or less just think of myself as an “intense” person that’s waiting to see if it gets any worse because I’m a) hesitant about the prognosis and b) busy going on wondrous adventures. Maybe a lil reckless, I know. Such is life and my nickname (KIARECKLESS).

Posted by:Maravilla World

Come see 'bout me.

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