I don’t know.

And thank goodness for that!

I don’t know.

I’m 19 years old with ~ 19 years of shame, guilt, and regrets. I have been the cause and the effect of harm, and hurt, and despair — specifically to, and by, the people I love.

Lied. Cheated. Stolen. Abused. Abandoned. Neglected. Destroyed.

Yet somehow, I was worthy of Love.

I am worthy of Love.

Love saved me, and continues to do so.

Everyday. Every moment.

Love tells me not to just live in the shame, or guilt, or regrets; Love wants me to be softened by it. To take responsibility. To give and ask for forgiveness.

To forgive myself

Be humble

Grow compassionate

AND REALIZE THAT IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT ME.

I have been so caught up in my own drama that I never took the time to think about the other. To realize that I contribute to the other. To realize that I’m one with the other.

I don’t blame anyone or anything for my actions that caused harmed, or for those who have harmed me. I’m not here to justify my wrongs or the wrongs done unto me. I just can’t live with hatred in my heart anymore. I’m so tired.

All I can say is that I’m 19 and so, so happy that I don’t know!

But I’m on my way.

Posted by:Maravilla World

Come see 'bout me.

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